Your Thoughts Are The Key To Success Ep: 006
Hi there – Welcome to episode #6 of She Coaches Coaches.
Today we’re going to talk some more about the 5-part framework I use with my clients to help them work their mindsets so they can feel better and get the results they want. In the last episode, we spoke about acceptance. Accepting what is and accepting yourself for who you are. Today we’re moving on to the next pillar, your thoughts.
Now before we dive in I wanted to share this note with you. This one is from Coach Elizabeth. She was a ton of fun to work with and I feel so grateful that she was one of the amazing people that I get to coach. Here’s what she had to say.
“Coaching with Candy has been invaluable to me. Working with her has helped me replace those conversations in my head that were holding me back with clarity and more self-awareness than I could have imagined. She has an amazing ability to ask just the right question and then she gives me the space I need to find my direction. And if that weren’t enough, she’s just plain fun. I can’t recommend her highly enough.”
Ok so let’s dive into today’s episode. The framework I use has 5 components. Let me remind you quickly about what the 5 are and if you want a refresher on the first pillar check out Episode 5 – Accept What Is. I’ll put the link in the show notes so you can find it easily.
This framework is universal, so the good thing is you can learn it here for your coaching business and you can also apply it in other areas of your life. Really learning how you create your results and how you can change the results you are creating by managing your thoughts is kind of like the keys to the kingdom.
So here they are – the 5 components of my Confident Coaches Success Framework
- Accept what is
- It’s always your thoughts
- Your feelings are your GPS
- Take intentional and inspired action
- What you see is what you’ve got or put another way. Be – Do – Have
We’re taking this a step at a time, now we’re ready for the next step. The second pillar – “it’s always your thoughts”
Your thoughts create your results, so when you think better you live better. I don’t remember the first time I heard of this….that my thoughts create my reality but I do know I struggled and resisted the concept for a loooong time. I kept thinking that if I worked harder or if I got a lucky break than I would reach my goals. I’m learning more about this every day and I enjoy seeing the results too.
I don’t know what point you’re at, but I’ll be here with you as you learn and accept and embrace this fact.
Your thoughts create your results and (even more importantly) you can change your thoughts.
In episode 2, I gave you a little exercise to help calm yourself and untangle self-doubt. It’s called a thought download, you can listen to that episode next and I’ll put the link in the show notes so you can tune in right away.
I wanted to talk a little bit more today about your thoughts and how you can shift them. Doing a thought download will let you know what thoughts you are thinking. This is a great first step in awareness and it shows you what your habitual thought patterns are.
Now here’s the other part: the thoughts you have about something are your opinion. Other people may have the same opinion (or thoughts) or they might not and their experience will then be different too. If their thoughts are different their experience can’t help but be different.
Here’s an example of what I mean. We’ve got a rescue dog, her name is Tofino and she’s reactive she easily gets riled up when the next-door neighbour’s German Shephard runs at the fence between our yards and jumps up and barks over top at her.
The neighbour added an extension to the top of the fence and guess what? Their dog no longer jumps up and sticks his head over top and barks, so Tofino hangs out in the backyard all day, relaxing and because it’s summertime…she’s suntanning in the grass as I record this.
This is a neutral scenario. The next-door neighbour has put an extension on the top of the fence.
My thoughts – this is great! I get to relax and don’t have to worry about their dog barking and jumping at the fence and Tofino can take it easy and enjoy her yard.
My husband’s thoughts (because he told me) – this is terrible! I hate that they’ve done that – why don’t they just train their dog.
Exact same circumstances - the fence and two people with completely different thoughts.
Now every thought that you have creates a feeling.
In this scenario, I feel relaxed, content. But my husband feels irritated.
This episode is entitled Your Thoughts Are Powerful.
Now, do you see why?
I could choose to be irritated and think similar thoughts as my husband about that fence or I can choose to stay with my current thought “this is great” and feel good. And because of this thought, I’ve chosen a more enjoyable experience….I feel better and my life is better too
I’ve become the observer of my thoughts, and you can too.
So why does this matter for you in your coaching business? It’s because this is universally applicable. It’s true, it’s the way the world works. Your thoughts create your results.
Well, a common scenario for a coach is you want to start finding clients.
How you think about finding clients completely affects the success of your coaching business. Is it going to be doable or hard? Do you think you will succeed or do you think this is going to be a slog? Can you learn how, or will this always be a mountain of a challenge?
Whichever of these thoughts you have you can choose to lean towards the thoughts that make you feel better. For example, you might prefer to feel empowered, capable and inspired.
Because when you feel empowered you are more likely to do something in an empowered way. When you feel capable, you’re going to be more resourceful. When you feel inspired, you’re going to come up with far more great ideas about how to attract your best clients.
So to wrap this up, how you think affects your results. The first step is awareness. Learn what you’re thinking and what your habit thoughts. Then you can begin to make small shifts. Start by asking yourself questions from a curious place. For example, Is that really true or could there be another way of looking at this? In the example of finding clients do you think you are capable, or do you think it’s going to be an insurmountable challenge before you even start.
Do you think you can learn to be capable? Notice how you feel when you think…hmm I bet I can learn to be capable. I bet you start to feel like this is a puzzle that you can find the solution to.
I want to leave you with the Henry Ford quote “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re absolutely right”.
So next week is going to be a super interesting episode, we’re talking about the next (third pillar) of my Confident Coaches Success Framework. All about feelings and how they are the GPS – looking forward to this episode…it’s going to be great
So guys, I so appreciate that you are here with me, following along and listening learning and I hope you’re applying this stuff too. I’m super excited to hear how this goes for you. Of course, you can do all of this on your own using all the information I’m giving you in these episodes.
But if you want more help, you want to feel better and make progress faster, I’d be honoured to be that coach who helps walk you step by step through start-up to success.
Click on the link in this episode to find out more about how we can work together. I’m really looking forward to hearing from you.
Just a second now before we go I want to remind you that I want to celebrate the launch of this podcast and to thank you, my early listeners.
I’ll be giving away TWO $50 Amazon.com gift cards to some of my lucky listeners. And if you’re listening to this episode in real time this is your last week to enter.
I’ll be doing the draw on Wednesday, September 16, 2020, live on Facebook. So go ahead and click on the show notes to find out more about how you can enter.
Featured on The Show:
- To celebrate the launch of the show, I’m giving away Two $50 amazon.com gift cards to some lucky listeners who leave a rating & review in Apple Podcasts
- Episode 5: Accept what Is
- Episode 2: Your Thoughts Are The Key To Self Confidence. When You Think Better You Live Better
- If you’re interested in getting more support >>> click here <<<
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Correction: This episode refers to "The Model." I'd like to rectify any errors or omissions by giving proper attribution and credit to the originators, Dr. Albert Ellis, who formulated REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy), and Dr. Aaron Beck, who incorporated it into CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). "The Model" and references to CTFAR should be more accurately referred to as "The CBT Model." CBT is a widely recognized and effective approach that helps individuals understand how their thought processes impact their daily lives.