In today’s Facebook Live video, I talk more about the common theme of hiding and being nervous to talk about your business. You can see the replay below.
I see a pervasive fear among many coaches, wellness practitioners and lifestyle entrepreneurs. They are nervous about being seen online and are often scared to post on social media, comment in groups, write and do videos.
It's an absolute shame, these are talented, smart individuals who have a lot to contribute and I want to hear their voices. This trend prompted me to publish a blog post earlier this year >>>> How to Go From “On Edge” to “At Ease” With Being Visible Online.
This time, I'm covering the topic from a different angle. Specifically, pinpointing something I call the comparison game.
Here’s how it commonly shows up. You have a new area that you want to grow. Maybe it’s a new skill, maybe it’s launching your website or pressing “go” on a blog post. This is something you’re new at and it’s important to you.
When you play the comparison game, the first thing you do is focus on the people who are successful, the ones you believe are the experts, and then you compare yourself to them.
Taking this approach does two things:
- You’re acting and judging from a limited perspective.
- You invariably choose someone who looks adept and confident.
You compare how you feel on the inside with how they look on the outside.
Some of the pitfalls of the comparison game are:
- You have no idea how the person you admire feels on the inside.
-You have no idea how long they’ve been working on that skill.
-You don't know if they are an expert, nor do you know if they have an entire marketing team supporting them.
- You may be comparing your beginning with their middle.
In all cases, you’ve set yourself up. You can never win!
This is one of the more common ways your Inner Critic keeps you playing small and tries to stop you from taking risks.
What can you do instead?
First, understand it is completely normal to feel nervous, scared, rattled and overwhelmed when you are learning something new. You are in good company, every single person who has ever stretched beyond their comfort zone has felt nervous too. Pause and think about that for a minute.
Second, give yourself permission to be awful, at the start.
It’s true, becoming a new entrepreneur means you must learn new things and you have to stick with them, get over the hurdles and build your skills. It will take time before you can reach mastery. Give yourself permission to be just plain terrible and then learn from the experience. Next, practice and practice some more. Keep showing up doing that thing you’re not any good at. Soon you won’t be awful, you’ll be mediocre 😉 and eventually with time you will get good.
One of the byproducts of giving yourself permission to be terrible at the beginning. You won't feel nervous for long. You may even find you enjoy learning and growing.