(4 minute read)
Did you know? You’re in an EPIC battle against your #1 enemy in life => Self-doubt.
What is this #1 enemy stopping you from enjoying?
A thriving coaching business? More clients? Freedom? Love? Money? Family time?
Can you imagine what life would be like if you knew how to manage that self doubt and feel better about yourself?
I recently watched one of the Dove ads. It reminded me how often we can be really mean and nasty to ourselves. You can check it out here, it’s a real eye opener http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3021912/Your-face-looks-like-bulldog-Beauty-company-Dove-asked-women-write-body-flaws-new-ad-paid-actresses-repeat-comments-them.html
I’ve noticed over the years how many of the brilliant coaches that I coach, hold themselves back when we first start working together. They put a lid on their potential.
Initially it was a surprise because, these are coaches who are incredibly talented and truly amazing. Over time, with awareness and practice, each of them learned better ways to manage self-doubt.
Here are five tips to help you effectively quiet the voice of your Inner Critic and manage your self doubt (Note – the voice of your Inner Critic can be female, male or other, so know that anytime I refer to the Inner Critic as a “her” or “him” the term is completely interchangeable):
- Learn more about the Inner Critic. Did you know the Inner Critic is a result of a real physical spot at the base of your brain? It’s called the amygdala, or “lizard brain”. It evolved so you would be able to run away from saber tooth tigers and other scary animals. Your body is incredibly efficient, and it’s quick to recognize a threat. The only problem, every time you stretch beyond your comfort zone (like maybe when you have the chance to do some public speaking or ask someone to be your client) it reacts the same as if you are going to be physically attacked.
- Notice, when she shows up. Watch your reactions and notice when your Inner Critic shows up. Awareness is the first big step. Then you can decide what action you want to take or how you want to approach your reaction.
- Shine a light. What does your Inner Critic really say, when she’s not skulking in the background? Listen to him, for 5 minutes take dictation. Write down everything she says. When you put him out in the open, even just a little, you (the real powerful you) start to gain power. There’s no better way than to show her to the outside world. Things seen are not nearly as unnerving as when they are in the shadows.
- Identify her. When you hear her, begin to separate the Inner Critic from the “I” that is you. Remind yourself, “that’s my Inner Critic and he is worried” instead of “I’m worried”.
- Be Compassionate. Thank her genuinely for wanting to keep you safe. Try saying “You know I’m an adult and while I appreciate your concern I’m going to try this anyway. Don’t worry I will keep you safe.” Remember she is there because your biology wants you to be forever out of harm’s way. Biology can’t differentiate between a real threat and an imagined one.
Once you practice a few of these ideas, you will find the Inner Critic begins to loosen her hold.
So now it’s your turn. Which of these tips are you going to try first? I’d love to hear how it goes. What worked well? Tell me about your success!!!!
Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m here for the long haul! My goal is to help you, in any way I can, to grow your coaching practice.
How’s it going? Is it everything you hoped it would be? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, schedule a complimentary 20-minute private Clarity Session with me with this link https://bit.ly/2qVMn9j I can’t wait to hear from you.