How To Use The 5C Confidence Formula Easily And Effectively Ep: 068
Hello friends, welcome to this episode of She Coaches Coaches.
This is the final episode in my mini-series about confidence.
You’ve learned so much and I’m so glad you joined me. We started with Why faking it til you make it might actually hurt more than it helps. We’ve gone over 3 big lies we tell ourselves about confidence, 3 truths that will help you build your confidence. I’ve given you the overview of the 5C Confidence Formula.
Today let’s talk more about how to use this 5C Confidence Formula.
How to put it into practice and get the most from it.
Oh yes, and before we dive in here’s your thought for today;
I am a priority. I keep the commitments I make to myself.
In the past couple of episodes, I’ve given you some powerful thoughts, I reminded you “you are far more capable than you know” - I asked you to remember that “a lack of confidence doesn’t mean you’re not ready” and I’ve touched on “This time, I want to see what happens if I don’t give up.”
If you like these kind of encouraging thoughts well, I’ve got a little treat for you.
When you sign up for my FREE Coaches Online Business Academy. It’s the vault that store all kinds of amazing resources to help. In there I’ve added something new I’ve created FREE Screensavers. They are some graphics that I created in Canva that you can use for your phone’s home screen. It’s a super helpful way to remind yourself of those powerful thoughts, so think better and when you do you will feel better, more confident and you will find its way easier to be effective and execute the next steps in your plan.
Changing my phone home screen is one of the ways I remind myself to practice certain intentional thoughts. Our thoughts are optional, and it’s amazing how easy it can be for us to learn and integrate new thoughts
When we choose powerful thoughts, we create the emotions that go with them. The emotions of determined, motivated, committed, empowered and more.
And since our feelings fuel our actions the more, we take supportive and empowering actions. We take power away from our tendency to procrastinate and avoid. I’ll put the link to sign up in the show notes. Then you can sign up and download the graphics and start practicing those thoughts.
Ok how can you use the 5C Formula in a simple step-by-step practical and effective way. That’s what we’re talking about today.
A quick recap in case you haven’t had a chance to listen to the previous episode yet:
The 5 Cs of the Confidence Formula
- Decide and Commit -everything starts with a decision. Nothing will change until you make a decision and then commit to taking one small step
- Courage – that step will need you to be courageous and take action
- Capable – with repeated learning and practice you will start to feel like “I’m starting to make headway”
- Confidence – that feeling we all want.
- Compassion (self-compassion) and I share with you the practice of self-compassion and how it will make your path to confidence so much easier. When you’re kind to yourself instead of raking yourself over the coals for every mistake – you’re far more likely to keep going…and build your confidence.
So how do you use the formula?
First remember it’s a cycle, it’s not a ladder with the end goal being permanent confidence.
Once you feel confident in one area, you’re more than likely ready for the next turn around the ferris wheel. You know what it’s like to ride the ferris wheel, you inch towards the top and when you’re there you enjoy the view – you can see everything, and it feels amazing. And then the ferris wheel keeps moving and now you’re down at the bottom again, ready to ride it back to the top. I know you may have forgotten that it took effort and practice to get to the top, you might only remember the view, but now it’s time to start fresh.
I always begin by asking where am I right now?
Do you feel like crap or meh? Or somewhere in between.
Am I second guessing?
Swirling in my head, confused, overwhelmed
Forgetting that I was actually going to “do that thing”
If your thoughts sound like this
T: Oh, no I don’t think so
T; I don’t know what I’m doing
T: I’ll wait until tomorrow
T: They’ll think I’m an idiot
T: It’s never going to work
You might be what I call “in the woods”
This is the time we’re in the forest, bush whacking…stumbling around. We might know we want to get to the viewpoint but we’re looking for the easy path. We’re not even on the path…because well hell that looks hard.
You might be in the woods for a loooong time. Even after you reached that last goal and felt unstoppable you will probably still land back here before the next level.
If you’re in the woods, it’s ok, nothing has gone wrong.
You just need to stop-drop and roll. Yes, I’m using that metaphor because we know it without even thinking the words. stop (pause) – drop in (notice, kindness and curiosity) and roll (take the next step).
If you’re in the woods your next step is to get onto the path of the 5Cs
The first step in the path is to Decide and Commit.
Here’s what I mean:
Wherever you are there you are…. identify where you are and take one step to the next step in the 5C Formula cycle (Stop – Drop – and Roll)
You just need to stop (pause) – drop in (notice, kindness and curiosity) and roll (take the next step)
If you’re in the woods your next step is decide and commit.
Once you’ve made a small decision and committed to that next step.
Then your next place to move it to courage.
Decide and commit sounds like “I’ve decided to” or “I will take this one step”
Courage sounds like “let’s go” and it feels scary…. until you do it and then it may feel exhilarating
Once you’ve moved through decide and commit (the first C) and courage (the second C) then you keep going and move on to capable. Once you’re at capable you’re starting to get some momentum and it’s a natural slide for you to eventually land into confidence.
Now listen I know this may sound too easy or unrealistic but stick with me. Our thoughts create our feelings…all of these C’s (courage, confidence, capable) are feelings and our feelings come and go, they are changeable.
For most of my clients the hardest part, where they struggle the most is with making decisions and then having courage to take the next step. And truthfully, the biggest learning we all go through is building a compassionate relationship with ourselves. No matter what we’ve accomplished in the past, no matter how much success you’ve had… this is often the stickiest because we’ve never learned how to treat yourself with honor, respect, compassion.
So, you may wake up every day feeling confused, overwhelmed, “meh” – “in the woods” and your only thing to do is to get on the path out of the woods using “decide and commit”. So, you may be repeating Meh – decide and commit for awhile and that’s ok – it’s actually part of the process. You know now that decide and commit means you are moving towards confidence. So, you’re actually getting on to the path. And that is a success.
Or maybe your pattern is to avoid discomfort and you shy away from small acts of bravery. They just feel too overwhelming. If that’s you, practice your self-compassion (which sounds like practicing your thoughts “I’ve got your back, no matter what happens I won’t be mean to you, we’ll grow from this” and feelings of comfort, security and curiosity”) and remind yourself of the times when you’ve already been that courageous person. Soon you’ll be ready to take that step.
So, to wrap it up and put the 5C Formula into practice.
Use the 3 part stop drop and roll metaphor.
1. Your approach is to stop (pause and take a breath)
2. Drop in. Notice where you are with, kindness and curiosity and ask ‘how do I feel?”
If I’ve decided and know what my next step is it’s time for a dash of courage, -but If I’m confused and overwhelmed choose one thing, make a decision and get started.
If I’ve been making strides (large or small) I know capable is just around the corner and I’ve just got keep on keeping on doing what I’m doing.
3. And roll (take the next step – not any old step, but the next step in the 5 C Formula)
Where The 5 Cs are:
- Decide and Commit
- Compassion (self-compassion)
And when you’re completely lost and stuck, cultivate self-compassion. Treat yourself with respect and kindness, not to make excuses but to allow yourself to be human and that way you will have an easier time finding and taking the next step.
Ok I’m so glad you joined me today in the last of this 5 part miniseries about confidence. I trust that you learned a lot and that you are putting it into action to make a difference in your life.
Share these episodes on confidence with your friends and family. I record these to support coaches, but this is a universal formula that can help anyone as soon as they learn it and start using it for themselves.
Thank you for helping me share these concepts so we can create a lasting positive impact on our community.
Did you know that I love my clients, they are high achievers, and I’m honored to invite you to be part of my community too. If you’re ready to get started, sign up for my free resource library. The Coaches Online Business Academy, there’s lots of free help waiting for in there right now. And don’t forget to download those inspiring FREE screen savers.
And if you want even more help, maybe You’ve had enough of trial and error and trying to figure it all out on your own. And now you want to work more closely with me.
Click the link in the episode notes to find out how to apply to work with me.
I’ll be back to talk with you next week.
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