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5 Simple Habits Ep: 030


 Hi and welcome to this episode of She Coaches Coaches.

Well, if you’re a regular listener you might remember I told you a few episodes ago about something that is coming up soon on this podcast that I’m really excited about it.

I’ve done a few very special interviews with some of my coaching clients.  They are all new coaches and I’m bringing them on to this podcast because they are amazing. They have such varied life experience and each of them is focused on becoming the best coach they can be and they are now well on their way to becoming a successful coach and signing their next paying clients. 

If you’re listening, my guess is you’re a new-ish coach or you might even be thinking about becoming a coach. You should listen to these episodes because each of them has a story to share, and I know you will benefit from hearing about them.

Now let's dive into today’s episode. It’s on the 5 Simple Habits That Will Transform Your Life (and Your Coaching Business)

Coaches get to do their own work. We are human, and always evolving. It’s up to us to keep growing so we can live more fulfilling lives for ourselves and also demonstrate to our clients that we do the work too!

Real lasting change takes place in our moment-by-moment awareness, choices and actions. 

When you look at the self-help section on Amazon.com there are over 100,000 books.

Lots of them tell you “if you want to be successful do X”.  Or, “if you want to be happy then you need to do Y”.

If there were cookie-cutter versions of success and happiness, we would only need a few books because the problem would be so easily solved.

I believe success, happiness and fulfilment are very personal. What is important to one person probably won’t work for someone else. 

There are, however some common approaches that can help you. 

Today I’ve outlined 5 super simple habits that will impact you and help you to feel more like you (the true authentic you) and more like you are living with more freedom and in-control of your life and everything that it takes as you become a coach.

So what are these super simple habits? Let’s start with the first.

The Habit of Giving Thanks

The power of gratitude is one of the first steps to create more satisfaction. No matter what we do, or what we have cultivating gratitude will always help us feel like we are even more blessed.

When you are thankful for what you already have you get to relax and appreciate the many amazing things that you’ve taken for granted.

There is nothing that sparks a transformation faster than to look at things with fresh eyes and with wonder, gratitude and curiosity. It’s the fast track to feeling better. When choose to notice the good in your life you will feel better and this habit grows the more you use it. It’s truly a miracle.

So why does gratitude work?

Well, we’re wired to look for problems and those thoughts and actions are usually accompanied by feelings like worry, self-doubt and anxiety.  This is a habit we have and it’s wired in.  When you consciously practice your gratitude, you are rewiring your brain. There’s a quote that says “the neurons that fire together, wire together” and that’s what you’re doing with gratitude. 

Creating a more well-bonded path so it becomes more of a habit. And with gratitude, you will begin to notice more useful thoughts, the ones that make you feel better, more connected, more appreciative, more open, and more love

The Habit of the Pause

Next, we’ve got the habit of the pause. 

When emotions run high, intelligence is low. The heightened emotions of anger, fear, anxiety, overwhelm and grief are triggered with a part of the brain, the amygdala.  On the other hand, the pre-frontal cortex executive decision-making portion where our smartest thinking and problem solving takes place.

This means that when you’re triggered by an emotion like fear and anxiety you can’t access your powerful problem-solving thoughts.

When you use a pause, a break, you get a chance to settle down and this gives you the space to think better and respond proactively. Because now the pre-frontal cortex is more accessible to you.

You can take a pause by first being aware that you’re triggered, just notice the feeling and what’s going on in your body.  Then shift your focus to your breath. And just breath for a few cycles.

I gave you exact instructions on how to use a technique called box-breathing back in Episode 13.  I’ll put the link in the show notes so you can listen and practice this simple technique.

It only takes a short while, maybe 10-15 seconds to feel the shift.

Then once you feel the shift, you will be able to think better, more constructively and more creatively too and since your thoughts really do create your results, you’ll be on the path to getting more of what you want, more easily

The Habit of Being Connected to Your Emotions

As a society, we are used to being “in our heads” always thinking and rushing around taking action. One of the less practiced skills is to know what you are feeling.

We are scared to feel our feelings, and most of us will avoid this at all costs.  But what if I told you that an emotion is really just a vibration in your body? It seems simple right? Maybe you believe this or maybe you don’t. But stick with me here and play along just for a couple of minutes.

Let me ask you. What emotion you are feeling right now?

Where do you notice this emotion, is it in your stomach, in your jaw, in your head? 

What does it feel like, is it tight, hot, cold, or heavy or light 

Place your attention on this sensation in your body. Not the story you are maybe telling yourself, just the sensation.

You may notice that this sensation grows and then recedes. I’ve found these feelings rise and fall like a wave. Some of my emotions are like tidal waves and other times they’re like a ripple on a lake. 

Neuroscientist, Jill Bolte Taylor wrote a book about her experience after a stroke. She found that a feeling lasts 90 seconds.

Yup, that’s it 90 seconds. Now if we continue to fan the flame of the feeling with our thoughts we’ll create the next wave and the next. But if we just have the courage to sit with that sensation for 90 seconds it will shift.

I’d highly recommend you try this experiment the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or if someone says something that offends you.

Our emotions hold important messages about what’s really going on under the surface. Have you ever met someone and you’re smiling and polite, yet underneath you are feeling ill at ease or irritated.  It’s helpful if you are aware of exactly how you’re feeling, there is a message for you. Maybe it’s time for you to start listening to this message?

The Habit of Being Aware of Your Thoughts

The next habit is the habit of being aware of your thoughts.  Since your thoughts create your emotions, it’s only natural that cultivating your awareness of your thoughts is important too. 

Every emotion is created by the thoughts running through your mind. If you’re feeling unhappy, ask yourself – what am I thinking that is creating this emotion? If you’re angry, ask what thoughts am I having right now?

If you’re feeling calm, ask what am I thinking that creates this?

Once you understand what you’re thinking, then you can shift your thoughts to improve how connected, fulfilled and purposeful you feel. 

As I said at the start of this episode, these moment by moment shifts in awareness will show you how much control and freedom you already have.   When you know what you’re thinking you can more easily get a glimpse of why you’re creating the results that you have. 

Then when you have this clarity, you can choose to shift your thoughts, begin by shifting them ever so slightly…and your results will shift too. Small steps, small shifts in awareness every day will create a massive shift over the span of a month or even a year.

The Habit of Having a Coach

And finally, the last habit is the habit of having your own coach.

Having a coach is fun and it’s the fastest way to create more happiness and meaning in your life. 

I know perhaps some of you think that having a coach is hard work and grind, but what if it wasn’t what if it was actually comforting and fun to have a coach? I believe having a coach is the fastest way to feeling better.  You are one thought away from feeling calm, confident, clear. Only one thought, it’s amazing, right?

Coaches help you to see your habitual thoughts and emotions. Your thoughts dictate the action (or procrastination) you take, and these actions all come together to create your life.

Because a coach is objective they can show you what’s going on and help you question and understand what you really want and then figure out how to get it.

Ok, let me summarize today’s episode. The five simple habits that I described are:

1. The Habit of Giving Thanks

2. The Habit of the Pause

3. The Habit of Being Connected to Your Emotions

4. The Habit of Being Aware of Your Thoughts

5. The Habit of Having a Coach

Now, if you’ve been thinking about working with your own coach, I’ve got a few spots available as I record this episode. I’d love to offer you a strategy session and we can see if it’s time for us to work together. The link is in the show notes – I can’t wait to hear from you.

So that’s it for today friends.

Before you leave! I want to tell you about a gift I offer to all my listeners. It’s my free resource library, an online vault filled with content I created to help you grow and become a coach.  I call it The Coaches Online Business Academy and here’s how it works. 

When you sign up for your free account, you get immediate access to all of my free resources and yeah there’s a lot of them, and it keeps growing! You can dive into my ‘narrow down your niche’ quiz. Then jump into the 5-day video training to kickstart your coaching business. There are a whole bunch of PDF guides and checklists. Including 147 proven coaching niches, a checklist for what you need to know as a brand-new coach and ideas for where to find paying clients …. plus, more. 

I’ll talk to you next week.

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