Four Simple Strategies To Help Manage Stress And Feel Better Ep:013

Hey Friends, How are you today? I’m so pleased that you’re here. Welcome to Episode 13.  

Let me tell you what’s going on with me. I’ve started playing with Instagram stories. You should check out my IG account I’m @candymotzek.  I’m posting a mix of things and I’m learning! Which is fun too, some of my posts look terrible! And that’s ok because it’s the only way I can get better right? I’ve decided I want to be more visible, more authentically and unvarnished me in these IG stores. So, you’ll see dog photos, updates on my lovely she-shed, the changing seasons plus. I’m starting up a new hobby and if you want to know what it is, start following me.  We’re heading into winter and I’m going to be sharing updates, of the progress on my new little personal hobby frequently. I really want to use IG stories so you can get to know me, a little bit better. The day – to – day regular me! 

I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to speak to you about this week and even though this wasn’t what I had scheduled I really feel led to talk about it, so I’ve changed my schedule because I think we all need a little extra help right now. 

I’ve been talking to a lot of new coaches, and of course I connect with my peers too. The most common theme I hear these days people are stressed, worried and anxious so that’s what this episode will help you with. 

Here are four strategies plus a bonus strategy to help you manage stress and cope with the stress in your life. You can use these stress management tips as well to help your coaching clients. They are simple to learn and easy to use. 

Everyone is stressed.  coaches too. We’re tired of dealing with Covid and still worried about it while trying to do the right thing and stay healthy and keep our families healthy too. We’re worried about the upcoming election in the US and what it will mean to everyone. This election affects the world. And I know we are a global audience, and we’re all concerned about the future. 

Coaches are stressed about our own lives and we support our clients to deal with their stress too. 

If you’re listening and we’re long past the current world troubles, that is great. Because I know this will pass and I know there will still be other stresses in your life. Today I’m sharing a few of my favorite tools and approaches to help you. So let’s dive in. 

First let’s talk a little about what happens when we get stressed. We talk to ourselves, right? And these thoughts heighten the stress. 

Your thoughts create your emotions, you’ve heard me say it before but it bears repeating as a reminder. 

Here’s why, when emotions are high intelligence is low. How we talk to ourselves can make it better or worse. 

When we’re stressed, scared or angry our brain shifts over to the more primitive mode and this part of the brain operates on survival. 

This is when you experience one of the 3 Fs (fight – flight- freeze). 

Fight mode, is when your breathing increases,  your heart rate jumps and you’re filled with adrenalin, chest forward, hands clenched and you’re ready to fight. 

Flight mode, you may experience this like your brain just turns off. The blood gets pumped to your legs and you are ready to run. Don’t think, just escape the danger. ( I once got surprised by a mouse in my dining room, now I’m not scared of mice, they are cute  - so how come I blinked and I was standing on top of a chair…that’s flight mode for you 😊_) 

Freeze, is like one of the nightmares, or when you’re an extra in a horror show and you are glued to one spot. Your eyes are huge, but you can’t move, you can’t seem to do anything except watch the danger get closer. 

Remember, when emotions are high, intelligence is low. 

Here’s how to help yourself, and your clients when stressed. 

I’ve got 4 strategies you can use 

Before we go to the 4 strategies I would highly encourage you to plan ahead. Yes, that’s right, think ahead what you will do to help with the stress. Then when you’re stressed you’ve already decided. 

Planning ahead gives you a chance to engage the pre-frontal cortex, the part of your brain that is smart. It’s the place where executive thinking is centered. So plan ahead, use this part of your brain so you’re ready for the next time you’re in the 3Fs fight-flight-freeze. 

Decide in advance which of these 4 strategies you will use. 

Strategy # 1 Practice box breathing. I use this simple to learn breathing technique in most of my coaching sessions to help clients settle themselves down. And of course I use it myself, because just like you I get stressed too. 

Here’s how it works. It’s a conscious form of breathing that helps you to feel better, calmer, more relaxed and it works fast. 

There’s 4 parts. I’m going to explain it, then we’re going to do it together.  

It starts with inhaling for the count of 4.

Then you pause and hold your breath for a count of 4

Slowly and fully exhale for the count of 4 and finally

Hold empty for the count of 4 

Ok now before we do it together. Take a minute and rate your stress / anxiety / overwhelm level on a scale of 1 – 10. Where 1 is completely chill and 10 you’re in a full blown panic attack. Got your number? Good, don’t forget it, cause I’m going to ask you once we’re done. 

I’m going to talk you through three full rounds 

Inhale for the count of 4

Now hold for the count of 4

Exhale slowly for the count of 4

Hold empty for the count of 4

That’s the first round and let’s go again. 

Inhale for the count of 4

Now hold for the count of 4

Exhale slowly for the count of 4

Hold empty for the count of 4

You’re doing good and one more time. 

Inhale for the count of 4

Now hold for the count of 4

Exhale slowly for the count of 4

Hold empty for the count of 4

Ok, how are you? Did you rate your stress level before? What was it? Now how do you feel? 

I haven’t met anyone yet that doesn’t say, wow I feel so much better, so much more relaxed. How about you? Do you feel better? 

Strategy # 2 Take a walk. 

Now this is not just any walk. I want you to walk outside in nature. Among the trees or by the water and close to the grass. Get some fresh air on your face. Swing your arms, breathe, and look at your surroundings. 

And, here’s the tricky part. Leave your phone at home, in the car or in your zipped up bag on silent. Take your Apple Watch or your Fit Bit off too. No electronics. Just you, walking in nature. 

Moving helps you deal with the adrenalin and the hormones that rush through your body when you’re stressed. There is something special about the regular movement of your arms and legs. Yes, we’re human, we’re smart, but our bodies are animals and they crave nature and movement.  Even better if you can work up a little bit of a sweat. 

When my Dad died, walking helped me deal with the grief. When I was burnt out from over stress and overwork, both my doctor and my therapist said that I needed to walk. 

For you, when you’re stressed or anxious walk every day at least 15 minutes. If you can go for half an hour even better. You will also find that you sleep better too – it’s an added bonus.

Strategy # 3 – Share 

Oftentimes, we fan the flames of our own stress by thinking and thinking and thinking obsessively about what’s going on. 

Talking with a friend, family member, coach or therapist about what’s going on will help because it get it out of your head, so you won’t be obsessing and spinning on it any more. 

This talking is not to play the “ain’t it awful game” you know where you compare notes about how terrible everything is or when you one-up each other with  “well if you think that’s bad I’ve got one worse for you” game. 

Share to clear your mind, to be heard, and to connect person to person.

If you can get and give a hug, hold hands, look them in the eye or even a pat on the back it will help. 

We’re not meant to be solitary creatures, we need connection. 

If you live alone and you don’t have people close by you can talk on the phone, text or use zoom to connect.

Strategy #4 Soothe Yourself 

Soothing yourself can take many forms. 

You can have a snuggly toy that you sleep with or a fuzzy blanket that helps you feel cozy and comforted. Don’t laugh, lots of adults benefit from having something to hug when having a tough time. This is one of the ways that having a pet helps us. If you don’t’ have a pet have stuffed toy. It’s all good. 

Activities that take your mind off your worries are also great to help soothe yourself. 

Some examples could be crafting like knitting or crocheting.  Playing a musical instrument. Painting, drawing or even colouring in an adult colouring book with beautiful pencil crayons. Tend to plants, grow herbs in your kitchen window. 

What sounds like fun? Choose something creative and try it, if you like it great, if not you can always try another until you find something you enjoy.

I have so many stress relief strategies that I could go on all day, but these 4 are some of my favorites.  Before I leave you for today there is one bonus strategy that I want to add here.

Bonus Strategy #5 – Stay informed, not obsessed 

Specifically, this is about the news and social media. Now I’m not recommending that you become ignorant and that you ignore what’s happening in the world. Of course, we want to be informed.  What I am saying is that a constant IV of news and drama is not helpful. 

When I pick my phone up, Apple News sends me continually updates. When I’m driving, the radio always has news tidbits. If I was taking public transit, there are TV monitors mounted everywhere. When I’m on social not only are there news updates, but there are also competing opinion pieces about the news. Of course, the news agencies share news and they also share controversial stories, they make money from advertising and they want us to stay connected. That’s why there is news everywhere.  

Sometimes these controversial stories fan the flames of our stress. 

Here’s what I recommend you do to curate your content. Find one of two news outlets that are mainstream but with a bent to factual news, not opinion pieces and not focused on disaster, fear and conflict. 

 Look at the news twice a day, only. Mid morning and just after dinner. Don’t look at the news just before you go to bed!  

Decide to be in control of your news diet, just as you decide to be at choice with the food you eat.  

Delete the apps from your phone, choose to listen to a music streaming or podcasts instead. 

I hope these 5 strategies help you deal with your stress and help you find ways to support your coaching clients too. 

So that’s it for today friends. But don’t leave yet! I want to tell you about a gift I offer to all my listeners. It’s my free resource library, an online vault filled with content I created to help you grow and become a coach.  I call it The Coaches Online Business Academy and here’s how it works. 

When you sign up for your free account, you get immediate access to all of my free resources and yeah there’s a lot of them, and it keeps growing every month! You can dive into my ‘narrow down your niche’ quiz. Then jump into the 5-day video training to kickstart your coaching business. There are a whole bunch of PDF guides and checklists. Including 147 proven coaching niches, a checklist for what you need to know as a brand-new coach and ideas for where to find paying clients ….plus more.  

Like I said, each month I add more free resources and you’ll get notified as soon as I load them.  It really makes me happy to share this with you. It’s one of the ways I support my community and support the growth of coaching. 

All you have to do, is go to the episode description or the show notes and click on the link to sign up today. And that’s it. I’ll talk to you next week. 

Featured on The Show: 

• Free Resource Library: The Coaches Online Business Academy
• Click here to find out how to work with me

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