Breaking Self Sabotage With Faith. How Coach Risk Helps Women Step Into Themselves

When you hear the word “selfish,” what comes up for you?

For so many women, it feels wrong before it ever feels right. We are taught to pour out, to serve, to be the dependable one, the strong one, the one who holds everything together. Somewhere along the way our own identity gets wrapped up in everyone else.

In this episode of She Coaches Coaches, I had the joy of talking with Ariska “Coach Risk” Scott, a Board Certified Christian Mental Health Coach and Transformational Life Coach. She is the founder of A Bountiful Solution, creator of The Selfish Society and Let’s Get Selfish workshops, and she is on a mission to guide women into their “selfish era” in the most God centered, heart aligned way.

And I can tell you from experience, she walks her talk.

From People Pleasing To The Journey Of Self

For years she was the classic people pleaser. Self abandoning. Over giving. Tying her identity to everyone around her. In 2016, her marriage ended and she found herself alone as an adult for the first time, with two little ones looking up at her.

That was the turning point.

She realized that she could not guide her children into a healthy future without doing the work to heal herself. So she started.

• Putting herself first
• Asking who she actually was
• Separating her identity from everyone else’s expectations

At the same time, she had been coaching and mentoring informally for years. In public health, in her sorority, supporting friends, being the person people called for advice. Coaching was already there. Her own healing and her natural gift for guiding others eventually came together in her work today.

The Selfish Shift Framework

One of the things I love about Coach Risk is how practical and grounded she is. She took her lived experience and turned it into a clear, usable framework for her clients.

She calls it the Selfish Shift Framework, and it sits inside a bigger vision where SELF stands for:

• Striving
• Elevating
• Leading
• Flourishing

The women she serves are often in seasons of transition. Many are entrepreneurs. All of them are ready for something different.

Her five-pillar process walks them from awareness to confidence:

1. Self Awareness
   Recognize the pattern. See the self sabotage. Name the perfectionism, procrastination, people pleasing, and self abandonment that have been running quietly in the background.
2. Self Compassion
   Stop shaming the pattern. Instead of beating themselves up for “still” doing it, they learn to soften, to witness, to hold their story with kindness.
3. Self Discipline
   Take action even when the old pattern still whispers in your ear. This is where action happens in spite of fear and discomfort.
4. Self Forgiveness
   Release the history of the pattern. This is where the weight of past mistakes, regret and self blame starts to lift.
5. Self Confidence
   Become the woman God created you to be. Trust yourself again because God has restored you and you are choosing to partner with that restoration.

When she ran a recent Selfish Society cohort, the self forgiveness pillar became a powerful breaking point. She brought in a licensed clinical social worker for that session and witnessed women physically release years of weight they had been carrying.

Perfectionism, Procrastination And “Wasting Cakes”

One of my favorite stories in our conversation is about cake.

Before she became a coach, Coach Risk ran a home bakery called Buns by the Pound. She often compared herself to a huge international brand, Nothing Bundt Cakes. If her cake came out of the oven and did not look perfect, she would throw it straight in the trash. No taste test. No second look. Just gone.

It was perfectionism in action.

Her clients loved the cakes. They did not care if every single one looked like it belonged in a magazine. They cared about the joy of sitting down with a slice and a cup of tea.

That pattern of perfectionism showed up as:

• Throwing away perfectly good cakes
• Wasting time, money and ingredients
• Procrastinating because it never felt “good enough”
• Feeling stuck because the standard was unwinnable

Sound familiar.

Many of her current clients do the same thing with their ideas and offers. If the program, website, post or launch does not feel perfect, they refuse to put it out. Then they wonder why they are not reaching the people who need them.

As she tells her clients, “If you do not put it out there, how are your clients going to know you exist.”

You perfect it along the way, not in secret.

Learn More:

Website: LINK

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourselfishcoach/

Free Gift: Breaking the Cycle: 10 Steps to Overcoming Self Sabotaging Behaviors.”