Episode 80: How To Get Clarity and Overcome Fear Using A Practical Approach

Over the past few episodes, we’ve spoke a lot about fear and where we allow it to hold ourselves back from creating what we want. 

I started with these episodes because I noticed how many of my clients hold themselves back because they are nervous. My goal is to normalize your understanding of fear, so it’s no longer like the monster in the closet that controls your life

Today I’m going to give you a quick and practical tool you can use to get over your fears. And who knows you might like it so much you decide to use it with your coaching clients too!

I’m all about the practical here because I want you to reach your goals.  That’s what a coach does right?  Coaches help you get more of what you want and less of what you don’t. Coaches help you reach your goals faster and with more fun.

Here’s how it works.

Think of a topic, something you’ve been thinking of for awhile. It might be something big, like quitting your corporate job to coach full time. It might be something relatively small, like doing an IG live every week. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s bit or small, this process will still work.

How do you do it.

Grab your journal or a piece of blank paper.

At the top of the page write the topic.  Let’s use this topic as an example. I want to go Live on IG every week. 

Underneath the title give your reasons why you want to do this.

Following along with the same example three reasons might sound something like: 

1. I know video is a great way to create a connection with potential clients.
2. I want to get over my fear of being visible
3. I want to create a small library, that I can send my coaching clients to so they know how I can help them

Now draw a line underneath those reasons

Then draw a line down the middle of the rest of the page. Now you’ve separated this area of your page into two halves. The right half and the left. 

On the left side write all the things you’re afraid of. The big things, the small things, every reason you can think of.

This might be a long list; the length doesn’t matter. What matters is that you empty all your fears onto paper. 

If I wanted to go Live on IG weekly, the list of fears might sound like

• I don’t know how to work my camera
• I can never remember to look at the camera
• I don’t know what to say
• I’m no good at speaking
• I don’t like how I look on video
• I don’t like the sound of my voice
• Tech is scary
• I’m going to mess up
• My friends will see these videos and laugh at me
• My ideas are too controversial, and people will argue with me
• Someone will attack me online

I can think of more things you might be nervous about, but this list is long enough to give you the idea.

Phew, that was a lot. 

Now look at what at what you’ve written. 

How do you feel?

You may find that just getting the fears out of your head gives you enough clarity and you’ve realized you handle it.

No matter if you realized that these fears are not as insurmountable as you originally thought or if you’ve uncovered some fears give yourself a pat on the back.

This work takes courage. You are being courageous writing all of this on paper.

Next, go back to your list of fears, and for each of them answer to any of these questions on the right-hand side of the page 

What is actually true?

What can I do to reduce the risk?

What’s the worst that can happen?

What is the most likely outcome?

Finally, look at your page, and ask yourself. Do I want to do it? Is it worth it? Only you will know.

You’ve taken the monster out of the closet, looked at it from all angles and shone a light on it to decide how you want to go forward. You may have found the monster was really a dust bunny, or you may have discovered that this isn’t the right path for you. You get to trust yourself, decide on your next steps knowing the possible risks.

This step-by-step process has encouraged you to look at your fears with courage and clarity. Most of the things we’re afraid of when it comes to signing clients and becoming a coach are optional. Using our example, no one says you must go Live on IG.  There are many other options.  You may discover that you’re no longer willing to be held back by the fear, or you may decide this is not your path. Maybe the idea of being live on IG is too much for you. That’s fine, either is good, there is no one right way. You get to choose your way. 

To wrap up - here’s a recap of this fear busting process

1. Grab a piece of paper
2. Write the topic at the top
3. Describe why you want to do this
4. Draw a horizontal line under the topic and your reasons
5. Draw a line down the middle of the page
6. On the left-hand side list all your fears
7. On the right-hand side answer questions – Is this even true? What’s the worst that can happen? How can I reduce the risk?
8. Finally, is it worth it? Decide. Ask yourself, do you want to do it? Yes, or no?

If you've always being curious about what it takes to become a successful coach, I've got a gift for you. It's called The Ultimate Guide To Becoming A Professional Coach. I've put a link in the episode notes, and I'd encourage you to go and download it

And if you want even more help, maybe you’ve had enough of trying to figure it all out on your own or taking hours and hours piecing together a solution by watching YouTube videos.  Then we should talk about how we can work together.

Click the link in the episode notes to find out how to apply to work with me.

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