Episode 49: I Want To Quit My Job Part 2
Hi there and welcome to this episode of She Coaches Coaches.
Hey, I’m so glad you’re here. Today we’re moving on to the second of two back-to-back episodes about how to quit your job and be a full-time coach.
It’s summer and by the time you hear this episode especially if you listen right when it goes live, I’ll be on vacation for a few days! I’m super excited, we’re going up to our place on the coast and we’re going to spend time boating, kayaking, hiking and enjoying the scenery….all the nature stuff. If we’re lucky we might even see some killer whales, but for sure we’ll see lots of fish (my husband might even catch something) and we’ll see seals with their seal pups. What about you? Hope you’re going to take some time away this summer too, relax, recharge and have fun.
Ok so let’s dive into today’s episode. In the previous episode, I told you about the 5 steps process that I recommend.
1 Decide you want to quit your job.
2 Commit to making it happen.
3 Work towards the goal.
4 Making the transition.
5 Your new normal.
I emphasize five steps because I want your transition to be a success. When you treat this as a well thought out, and well-managed transition project you will avoid so much of the stress and worry that might happen if you jump too quickly.
That episode gave you a good grounding in what actions to take, how to plan it and then execute your plan. If you haven’t listened to it yet, make sure to listen to it after this one.
Today we’re going to talk about your mindset, your thoughts and feelings and the thoughts and feelings that you may experience throughout the transition.
Of course, each of us has a different journey so I can’t talk about every single thought you might have.
Now of course you’re going to have thoughts like:
- This is so exciting.
- I can hardly wait. I’m counting the days.
- Finally, I get to be my own boss.
- Freedom – yes!
- This is the life and business I’ve always wanted.
- It’s my turn to do what I want.
- I’ve taken care of everyone else, now it’s my turn.
And with those thoughts come feelings of excitement, motivation, thrilled, filled with joy, anticipation….
And I don’t want to discount that those thoughts will be with you. And you don’t need help with those thoughts…so let’s talk about the places that might get a little uncomfortable…. The thoughts/feelings/opinions/beliefs that don’t support you.
There are three general groupings of thoughts we’re going to talk about today
1. This is a big risk. This isn’t a good idea, it’s not safe.
2. What will other people think of me? Meaning they will think I’m silly, stupid, a fool – they’ll think something bad about me.
3. What if it doesn’t work? I might fail.
I could do an episode on each of these (and now that I think about it, I just might) But let’s talk about them now.
1. This is a big risk.
When you’re in this place it sounds like this:
Why don’t I just stay where I am in my safe, secure career where I’m successful, people know me, I know them and I can count on my paycheque, my bonuses and my benefits.
Or, someone may have said something to you that sounds like this:
You’ve worked so hard to become, the general manager or to reach VP of Marketing. You’ve got it made, why would you want to risk it?
Only 10 more years and then you’ll retire with an amazing pension, why would you want to risk that?
And there are thousands of people who make the decision to stay where they are because of that future plan. They decide the security of future pension and retirement is more important to them. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
For you though ask yourself, is it enough? If you decide to stay in your current role, you can still be a coach. These things are not mutually exclusive. Consider doing a hybrid. Create your coaching business on the side, and then when it gets to the size that you want. If it replaces your current salary and benefits and bonuses…then you can quit (or not ?-))
No one says you have to quit, no one says you have to coach exclusively.
I have clients who make this choice all the time, and it works so well for them.
Maybe that’s a great option for you too.
Now, there is one thing I want you to consider. It is not 100% true that staying in your role is the most safe and secure approach. Companies restructure and downsize all the time. There are mergers, acquisitions, or for whatever reason a company just decides to close their doors. All of those decisions that are made by the C-suite are out of your control. That means, to me anyway, staying in a job might feel safe and secure, but it’s actually not the safest. Your role, your job (pay, benefits) are always subject to someone else’s decision.
You could be downsized at any moment. So don’t be fooled. The safest and most secure is when you have control over your career. Again – this may mean having a thriving side hustle as a coach, or it may mean being a coach full time.
So, the next time someone says – isn’t that risky? Why would you leave your safe / secure job to take that risk? Decide whether you agree with them…or not.
2. What will people think?
We worry about other people’s opinions. Some of us worry about what other’s might think…even more than our own opinions about our own life.
There are a couple of things at play here.
From a historical perspective, we survived by being part of a community. Being shunned, alone or excommunicated would mean certain death. So at one level, we care about what others think because we may be worried that we’ll be cast out. That was then, we don’t need others for our physical survival, but we do still need and want community, connection, love. It’s true when you take a different path, some relationships will change, some may even wither away…but you will create new relationships and you’ll be more drawn to connecting with others who are creating a life that they want too.
Also, remember, when we try to satisfy what we think they might be thinking it’s like living on jello. We never actually know what they are thinking, it’s what we think they might be thinking (weird right – it’s us thinking about their thoughts which we can never know) and then we try to live in accordance with our imagination’s version of their opinion. Their opinion is just that, their opinion. Their thoughts about you. But it’s your life…that other person gets to live their life and you get to live yours.
I always remember this Eleanor Roosevelt quote when I worry about OPO (other people's opinions)
You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
We’re so wrapped up in our own life, our own wins and losses, our own hurts, desires and goals. We’re wrapped up in ourselves – and rarely do we spend a lot of time thinking about someone else’s choices. When we do it’s mostly just in passing, sometimes it because we’re jealous, judgemental and other times we might just be encouraged and be reminded of what’s possible for us too.
3. I might fail.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
I’ve never done this before.
It might not work.
I might fail – does not mean the same thing as “I am a failure”.
More accurately it might mean “You are enough, you’re just an amazing human, creating something new, a life that you’re excited about. And you’ve never done this before.”
It may also mean, this iteration (this version) didn’t work the way I wanted it to. And even though this version didn’t work exactly right, I can learn from it and adjust and try again.
I wish I could tell you that 100% for sure you will be successful, you will thrive, you will have more clients than you want, you’ll only have fun and you’ll make a pile of money and it will be fast and painless.
But I can’t and I won’t. You’re smart and resourceful, it would be a disservice to paint this with pink rainbows and sparkly unicorn stickers.
To pretend that it’s guaranteed, and will always be easy and fun, would be wrong.
And I know you can handle it. You’ve done hard things before…and all this being said.
It’s worth it.
I think it’s good to look at what might happen. To acknowledge the unknown and decide and commit to sticking with it anyway. Do your best to make sure it does work out the way you want it to.
I’ll tell you for sure though, it will never happen unless you make a decision and commit to making it happen and then get to work to create it.
So, if you allow the fear of “it might fail” to hold you back then you’re guaranteed it will never happen.
Did you get that – the 100% want a recipe for failure if you want to be 1000% sure it will fail do this - don’t start, don’t try, don’t decide don’t commit.
Here are a couple of things you may not realize – and this goes for everyone who is creating, developing and growing into someone they’ve never been before.
Fear is normal.
Worry is normal.
Once you accept that you will have those emotions because they are part of being human. and then still decide to keep going anyway. In a word, having your own back and be willing to feel nervous and not let it stop you.
You get to decide that even if it doesn’t quite work the way you expected the first time, you will learn from it and try a new approach.
Maybe it takes longer than you originally thought, maybe it’s more difficult.
But as long as you keep going, working to create the coaching practice that you’ve imagined, the one you dream of. You will create it.
What could be more inspiring than realizing – this is the life, the business, the impact I always wanted and here I am I’m creating it right now.
Remember you are enough; you can do this. Even when it’s tough it’s worth it and I believe in you.
Hey, I so appreciate that you’re here and that you’re part of my community.
Now, if you want more help in becoming a coach, Check out the link in the episode notes to find out how to apply to work with me.
And don’t forget to sign up for my free resource library that’s filled with all kinds of resources and tools you can use to get started. It’s called the Coaches Online Business Academy, click the link in the episode notes to sign up today.
Alright, that’s it for today. I’m so appreciative that you spent this time with me.
I’ll be back to talk with you next week.
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