What Is A Gold Star Student?

Oh, you’ve met her before. She’s really nice, and smart too, she always does her homework and often sits in the front row smiling at the teacher, because she’s keen and she wants an A+ to go with her gold star. 

I’ve been that kid, the one who wants the A+ with a gold star for good behaviour. If you’re one of the gold star crew this email is for you.

It’s easy when we are kids, we are socialized to be nice, to be compliant, agreeable and to help others.  Sometimes, we do this to fit in, even when it’s at the expense of our own opinion, feelings and self-care.

School is made for well-behaved women and girls.

We don’t rock the boat. We don’t make waves. We smile, we learn, and we study exactly the right way to do the assignment.

 And then, when it’s time for a test or an essay, we shine and get to work.

We follow the rules. We fill in the pages of our test paper with very acceptable text.

We know the one right answer and we pull it out of our brain and put it on that paper. 

But, and here’s the big but (no pun intended), that’s not how the online world of business works.

We need to grow, stretch and try different things.

Try and fail and try and fail again.

We need to colour outside the lines, invent, imagine and create. We need to speak up, even when we are uncomfortable or it’s inconvenient. 

If we are to be successful in business it’s time to trust ourselves and honour our emotions, our truth and our inner light.

When I became a coach and an online entrepreneur, I wanted to learn the right way to be successful. I figured I’m a hard worker, I can learn how to do this!

And so, like in school I took the courses and followed the mentors. I was used to following the rules, so I looked for the courses that included the exact “step-by-step method to achieve your goal”

Well, I was in for a rude awakening.

What worked at school for my hard-working, rule-following self, flopped.  It’s because step-by-step isn’t how to be successful.

It didn’t work because I was using gold star student behaviour.

Essentially, I brought a knife to a gunfight.

Sure, step-by-step can help you learn the foundation. Like, how to set up a website or how to create a lead magnet to grow an email list.

 But what do you do when you’ve published your new website, and no one shows up?  Or you make your first lead magnet, and no one downloads it?

 It’s confusing, frustrating and discouraging.

 We look at the instructions again, and sure enough, we did exactly what we were told to do.

 And it didn’t work. 

So now what?

Now it’s time for a mindset shift. 

You are not broken, there’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s just time for you to:

* Trust your own opinion.

* Talk to your people. Ask them how you can help them.

* And listen deeply to what they say, and what they don’t say.

* Have beginner’s mind, don’t bring your expertise to these conversations or you won’t hear what they’re saying, because you think you already have the answer.

* Roll up your sleeves and experiment. After all, that’s how the “step-by-steppers” figured it out for themselves too.

* Ask yourself, what sounds interesting? What sounds like fun?

*Try that interesting idea but don’t get too attached. Tell yourself “maybe it will work maybe it won’t.”

* Then assess. What worked, what didn’t, what will you do differently next time?

Sometimes you’ll compare yourself with others thinking they have it all figured out, and you may even feel like a fraud 

In truth, the majority of us have struggled for longer than we would like to admit!

Rest assured you’re in good company and the success is 100% worth it.

Remember why you wanted to become an entrepreneur in the first place. That positive impact you are eager to make is important. Be willing to keep going and try new things.

If you find that you’re feeling like an imposter, check out this post. It gives you some tips to overcome that feeling like a fraud. Read it here>>>> BLOG