Welcome to Episode 18, The 5C Confidence Cycle for New Coaches
How are you doing? It’s the time of corona and I know some of you are doing well. All of you are doing your best with these changing stressful, worrying times. I’m so glad you’re here and I hope that when you tune in and listen to me that I help you feel just a little bit better.
You guys know I record these episodes in my bedroom closet. But what you don’t know is that before I start recording I have a little ritual, I send up a prayer asking that my words reach you and help you. I ask to be a clear channel of light and a little bit of reassurance to you.
So, if you’re listening today, know that this episode was recorded with you in mind.
I’ve got a super valuable episode for you today and we’re going to dive right in.
When you’re thinking about starting and growing your coaching business how often do you have thoughts like these?
How can I be confident?
How can I attract amazing coaching clients?
How do I get fully booked?
Where do I even find clients?
You might find yourself saying…..all right…just give me the step by step and I’ll do it! and I know you will. Those of you who listen to this podcast you are the ‘doers’, the overachievers, you’re motivated and you want to have a positive impact with your coaching.
Well, this episode is my best effort to date at codifying (my new favorite word – yes I said codifying – it’s my word that means “making a pattern, template or process”) how to grow your confidence.
Hey, we all secretly wish there was a magical unicorn fail-proof step-by-step process to become a successful coach. We search for that “yellow brick road” everywhere. So often we search for that magical step by step. It’s not that we’re unwilling to work, it’s that we want to know we’re on the right path.
We all do it. If you’ve been listening to my podcast for some time, you may have these words embedded into your mind because they are part of my intro. “Because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action”
Today, I’m going to talk more about what I mean when I say “clarity courage and confidence”
Let’s talk about the 5 Cs and the confidence cycle.
The 5Cs are part of a pattern, a framework and process. These five are:
And each of these will be present as you grow your confidence. I’m going to talk about each of the five so you see how they fit together.Clarity
Getting clear on the what, why and how.
What exactly do you need/want to do?
Why are you doing it? Why do you want to be a coach? Why are you wanting clients. Get very clear on your why.
Do you want to find your first clients. Great, why? Is it so you can quit your job eventually, is it so you can have an impact on the world? Is it because coaching has changed your life? Or is it because you’ve always wanted to be a coach and you need clients for certification.
All of these reasons and all of your reasons are valid and good. Clarity is the first component because now you’ve identified where you’re going and why you want to do it in the first place.
When you are connected with your why…it helps you deal with the “stuff” that happens when something goes off the rails
Here’s a little hint. When you’re identifying your “why”. Ask yourself the same question “why?” three times – keep going deeper. You might be amazed at what you discover.
For example, when you were taking a degree at university, one course might have been really tough, maybe you even failed it the first time….but you wanted that degree for a reason. Maybe your why was a chance at a better career or maybe you were really interested in the field. So you had a “why” and it helped tide you over when you had to take that tough course.
Feel the fear and do it anyway (book old classic by Susan Jeffers)
Expect to feel nervous, anxious, excited, scared becoming a coach. These are all feelings/emotions and they are normal.
Fear does not mean STOP
Fear means feel it, allow it, and move forward anyway. When you don’t resist and fight the fear (or avoid it) it won’t be as strong. It will pass more quickly.
I love these other acronyms for FEAR. Here are a couple
FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real
FEAR – Face Everything And Rise
I googled this and found that there are over 38 acronyms for FEAR. It was kind of fun. I think the weirdest one was: Felines Enraged About Rodents
Fear wants us to think – it’s dangerous. Our brain wants us to stay safe and comfy, it doesn’t want us to take a risk. We’ve evolved to avoid risk.
Think of a couple of cavewomen – the one who was afraid and ran away, or climbed a tree at the hint of any danger may have been wrong 100 times….but the one time they were right they lived. The easy-going cavewoman who thought everything was cool said don’t get so upset, stop overreacting…they died and with it their genetic pool
These days we get scared of taking a risk (remember we’re a descendant of the nervous cavewoman), maybe someone will think we’re silly becoming a coach. You’ve got a perfectly good job with benefits why would you want to risk that? We get to remember Why we’ve chosen this, feel the fear, gather our courage and step forward.
It’s only when we practice courage that we will eventually become confident.
We can’t outwait our fear, we can’t wait for confidence to miraculously land on us. We have to move through our fear in order to become confident.
We have to suck at it for a while before we get good. (hence the clarity about our big WHY because that will help us weather disappointment)
Yes, sometimes it will suck, and we will mess up. Or we’ll do a terrible job the first time we try something. It’s only natural right?
Here’s what will help.
Make a deal with yourself. That you won’t berate yourself when you mess up. Notice it’s when, not if.
Self-acceptance is a superpower.
And it will help you weather the suck.
When you know that no matter what, you’ve got your own back. It will be so much easier to keep your word to yourself and to stay in integrity.
Then you won’t be so scared to try “that thing” because you won’t allow yourself to say all that mean crap to yourself. I mean who would want to take a risk when you know for sure that someone’s going to yell at you, and that someone lives in your head.
Why would you do that thing when you know that you are going to be mean to yourself. You’ll never win that way.Celebrate
This is an unusual one. We are so used to finding the problem, solving the problem, looking for what went wrong that we forget to look for what went well.
My coach has taught me this, and it’s really helped. So that’s why I’m sharing it with you.
Your brain (that evolved cavewoman brain) looks for danger, looks for problems because when you know the risk it will help you stay safe.
Start by asking yourself “what went well” and insist that you answer.
Slowly but surely you will learn to see things that have gone well. Of course, you will see what didn’t go well, and for sure we’re still going to adjust, learn try a new approach. But let’s begin by looking for what went well and celebrate it.
I’d encourage you to ask what went well every day. Ask about your coaching sessions, ask your coaching clients, ask in that interview, on social media post, at that networking event.Confidence
Confidence is often accompanied by trust and self-belief and some faith.
Confidence thoughts sound something like this
“I know I will figure it out”
“Let’s do this”
“I got it”
“I can handle this, no problem”
“Just watch me”
Did you notice that confidence happens after courage + action
Confidence is a feeling. – just like courage is a feeling
I’ve talked to you about the levels of learning in episode 10.
They remind us (especially as adults) that before we start, we’re going to think it’s easy, then we realize how bad we are, we have to consciously put the pieces together and practice and then finally our brain puts that skill on auto-pilot.
When we’re getting good and it’s on auto pilot we feel confident. But the next time we start something new and worthwhile we will begin not confident......
The fastest way to put these 5Cs into action is to work with a coach. If you want to be a coach, it will be challenging hard for you to get clients if you don’t have a coach yourself. Belief in coaching will help new coaches attract their best clients. After all, if you don’t believe in coaching enough for yourself, how can you expect your clients too?
All new coaches, all coaches benefit from having their own coach.
A coach helps you get what you want faster. Coaches see your own blind spots. They cheer you on when you feel nervous. They hold that belief for you, that you can do it and eventually you realize you can do it.
In summary, the 5Cs of Confidence. Clarity- Get clear, expect to feel nervous, use your courage to get moving, be kind to yourself and have compassion, celebrate your progress and you will become confident.
Hey hope you join me again next week I’m diving into some do’s and don’ts for new coaches. You don’t want to miss these, it will save you money, time and energy and help you attract your best coaching clients.
Hey, before we wrap it up! I want to tell you about a gift I offer to all my listeners. It’s my free resource library, an online vault filled with content I created to help you grow and become a coach. I call it The Coaches Online Business Academy and here’s how it works.
When you sign up for your free account, you get immediate access to all of my free resources and yeah there’s a lot of them, and it keeps growing every month! You can dive into my ‘narrow down your niche’ quiz. Then jump into the 5-day video training to kickstart your coaching business. There are a whole bunch of PDF guides and checklists. Including 147 proven coaching niches, a checklist for what you need to know as a brand-new coach and ideas for where to find paying clients ….plus more.
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